I was talking to my mom about my cold yesterday and I told her I was tired of it, there's all this shit that needs to clear out... We laughed so hard, because she said kinda like everything in your life right?
When I look back and think about everything that is going on in my head in the last few months, it's like a tornado over my head, everything that I tried so hard to control and not think about, or just said I would deal with later, it has all come to a huge fucking tornado over my head.
In a tornado everything gets swept up and mixed all together, there is no order, there is no peace. It's spinning and you don't know when it's going to stop. And when it finally stops, everything is destroyed, there is no resemblance of what once was, just what is broken or destroyed now needs repair or to be replaced.
How sad. I don't know when this shit will clear out of my head and when it does how long it will take to repair or replace...I don't know what condition my life will be in, once this happens, if this happens.
I'm trying to deal with one thing at a time, but that's too hard to do when this shit is all swirling around in my head. I think I need a therapist again
who knows what I need. I certainly do not.
who does?
OUT- Chones
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